Here's an Interesting Question:

Why is everything that I do wrong?

Those of you who have read this blog before know that typically I do my best to stay away from being a stereotypical anything. However, right now I'm probably going to come off like a stereotypical spoiled suburban teenager whining about how hard his life is, but you know what? Shut up, that's what. It has been a rough couple of days, and if i don't have an outlet to vent somewhere, then you may see me on the news for letting out my frustrations in ways far less healthy than a journalism blog.

That being said:

Seriously, why is nothing I do right? My parents have been on me about every single thing I do the last couple days, from not having a job to not cleaning up. It like, the closer I get to leaving for college, the more last minute nagging and micromanaging they want to cram in to my last weeks living with them. Here's a list I've composed of things that my parents have gotten in my face about in the last two days, and a response to each one, explaining why it bothers me:

-I just sit around and don't do anything at home.
This is for the most part true. Since basketball season ended I have not done much besides eat, sleep, and watch TV after school. I haven't done any homework at home in a decent amount of time, and I haven't worked out or done much of anything physical since basketball ended. But you know what? I'm not the only person who does this. it is my senior year of high school, so excuse me if after busting my ass every single day for the past 4 years working out for basketball and doing homework for my AP classes, never getting below a 3 on an AP test (except chemistry, but we know what I'm like with math. That one was doomed from the start), and writing essay after endless essay for college and scholarship application, I'm enjoying the freedom to do nothing. I'm leaving to go to college in 3 months dad, I'll have plenty of time to be "active" again then.

-I still act like a kid/I don't have anything to say when we "talk"
This is a direct quote from my dad a night or two ago when he was "talking" to me. You know what dad? Maybe the reason I act like a kid is because you still treat me like a kid. Adults have conversations, where one person responds to the other, and we both know that if I said a word while we were "talking" that you would only yell longer. These are facts.

-I show no initiative looking for a job.
This one really pisses me off because I have spent a decent amount of time the past couple weekends going out, looking for places that are hiring, filling out and returning applications. It's not my fault that nobody wants to hire another 18 year old, inexperienced kid for 3 months.

-It's "sad" that I didn't go to the senior superlatives banquet.
This one is a little bit my fault, because I forgot to buy a ticket. But the more I think about it, I didn't want to go anyway. I have no desire to sit through an hour and a half long presentation to give out fake awards, none of which I received, and even if I did (not that I know if I did or not, because as I said I didn't go. Anyway.), none of which mean anything in the slightest. I don't understand, there were numerous other seniors who didn't go, yet I would bet I'm the only one who had to put up with this.

Listen, I love my parents. I understand that I am blessed and lucky to have the parents that I have, I really do. I am beyond grateful for everything that they have done for me, and I fully realize that I would be in a much worse place than I am if I didn't have them. But loving/appreciating them and liking/getting along with them are two entirely different things, and right now the two of them are mutually exclusive. I would rather they be like this than not care at all, so for all you idiots going THAN LETS SEE U LIVE ON UR OWN LOL, I understand. My life is actually great. This is an outlet to vent, not a forum for serious discussion. Calm down.

And go away.

You're All Idiots Who Deserve to be Mocked, Part 4

I am furious. I typed this out originally to be Blog 7, but then I hit a button or something and I thought it all got deleted. Only to find out just now that it had been saved the whole time. Well, better late than never, here is yet another rant about how stupid people on the internet are:

Yep, it's about that time. It has been a bad week in the way of Facebook statuses. Status? Statusi? Anyway, there has been a significant increase in the amount of stupidity on Facebook, a portion of which I will attempt to document here, in all their teeth-grinding, fist-clenching, humanity-questioning glory.

Before we get started, I would just like to say that everything in this post is more or less a lead up to one particular post I saw on Facebook. Now as usual, I'm not putting names with any of the posts, but this person has already been so widely lambasted for a different, though related post he put on Facebook, that many of you probably know who he is. Bearing this in mind, I'll try to be as delicate as possible with this kids identity. Not with anything else though, since as you'll see he clearly deserves any criticism he gets.

At any rate, without further ado:

"swag awnnnnn"
Shut up. Really, just shut up. There is no "swag" in Avon Lake. There is not one person in the universe who can give you a definitive definition of "swag," but I think we can universally agree that none of it exists here. At least you spelled "on" with the phonetic equivilent of a southern drawl, so everyone can take a little solice in the fact that you're not a moron. No, wait...

"I hungry, someone bring me food at worky :)"
This one actually struck a chord in me, because I was impressed that a 4 year old was skilled and dedicated enough to land a job. Seriously though, well done on the baby talk, it really compliments all the pictures of you drinking and smoking cigarettes well. Again, how can people like this not see how stupid they look?

"tbh." Or any variation thereof.
Because everyone knows, it's not really honest unless all of your Facebook friends can see it. Who, by the way, are your only real friends, because what does a friendship even amount to if it's not validated with online interaction? Nothing, that's what.

You know what? I lied to you. I'm not going to talk about that other kid because I want to go to sleep. Suffice it to say he's a pseudointellectual who tries WAY too hard to be informed and "out there." He also has a tendency to invent controvesy where none exists, which is one of the sigularly most annoying traits in a person.

Maybe next time.

You're All Idiots Who Deserve to be Mocked, Part 3

Well, it's only a month late, but it's that time again, time to delve into the dearth of linguistic ability and common knowledge that it Facebook. You know the drill by now, no names, but that being said no political correctness either, unless some slipped in while I wasn't looking. As clever as that last line is, don't even take it too seriously, because in all honesty I ripped it off another internet writer. You probably don't know who, because not many people have heard of him. That's how you know he's good.

That irony might have been too subtle.

Anyway, without further ado:

"K well cool story... I'm looking on my timeline and dont see s*** of what you're talking about. except today. so i must've been telling the truth"
Why why why for the love of God why would you make this a status? Nobody except the person towards whom this is directed will have any idea what you're talking about, so please explain what purpose you served by saying this publicly of directly to him or her. You're obviously just looking for all your friends to comment in agreement, effectively making the statement that your opinion is worthless without the validation of your peers. Nice self esteem, now go handle your own problems.

How many likes and/or comments did that have on it? 0. Like I said, nobody cares.

"shout out to my boyfriend in the hospital with a severe case of non-existence."
Oh wow very clever. You're such a strong independent woman, so strong and independent that you have to tell everyone just how strong and independent you are. I can't even get that worked up about this, it's just pointless. Not funny, not witty, just a waste of my newsfeed.

This isn't even a status, but some girl posted a picture of Miami University (Ohio, for everyone going WHICH 1 LOL, not that it's important to this anecdote) with the caption "August can't come soon enough."And some other girl commented on it and said "Are you going to Miami then?" I'm not friends with this girl, and I can only hope for the good of the future of humanity that she never procreates. No, she just decided to post a picture of Miami to really underscore how excited she is to go to Dayton. Unbelievable. Seriously, how can people be so stupid? Actually, I understand how they feel, because I really and truly cannot understand

"I hate people, can't wait to graduate and get away from all these annoying ass people"
Go on. No seriously, go on about how once you graduate there will no longer be any annoying people anywhere in your life. Because, as everyone who knows anything knows, after high schol you get to choose every single person who you interact with. And even if that wasn't the case, say, at a job or something, of course everyone you come into contact with after high school will be awesome and posses no irritating personality traits that are annoying to you. Furthermore, go on about how it's the fault of the entire population of Avon Lake High School that one person did something that you found to be irritating. Because it is common knowledge that if one person in a school does something annoying, then everyone in the school is annoying. Except you and your cool, chill, real, awesome friends, who aren't annoying at all and don't do things like post stupid thoughts on Facebook. Idiots

I can't wait to leave his place and all you fake annoying people.

Again, probably too subtle on that irony.