You're All Idiots Who Deserve to be Mocked

You know what? I wasn't even going to do a ranting post this time. My life has been going well lately, and I've been in an exceptionally good mood the last couple days. I sat down tonight, having just remembered that I had a blog post to do, and I couldn't think of a single thing that irritated me enough to bestow on it the prestigious honor of being mentioned on my journalism blog.


Then I logged on to Facebook.


Good lord. We as humans had better hope there's no other intelligent life in our galaxy, and if there is, we had better hope they don't have wireless Internet. Yes, I realize the assumption that a species could develop interplanetary space travel before wireless Internet is stupid, but it's no less stupid than the pages on pages of inane drivel that people find it necessary to clutter the Internet with. From poor grammar, to poor spelling, to posting things that nobody in their sane mind could ever possibly care about, Facebook... you know what? I can't even think of an ending to that sentence that does justice to the linguistic and intellectual travesties that my news feed depicts. In fact, I don't think I can convey my feelings about 99% of the people who use Facebook with words, that's how deep my contempt is. Instead, I'm just going to pick a couple items out of my news feed and explain what my problem(s) with that specific piece are. I'm not putting names with the statuses, because I'm just trying to rant, not publicly belittle anyone. 

"im not sure when it was ever cute to cake makeup on your face?"

That question mark at the end seems a little misplaced, considering that what you just typed is not, in fact, a question. I'm sure you meant it to convey uncertainty, the only problem being that you already did by starting your phrase with "im not sure" leaving the question mark to serve only one function: making you look like a ditz. No matter, because I'm sure every girl towards whom this is directed will see this status, instantly see the light and never cake makeup on their face ever again, all thanks to you and your heroic Facebook post.

"You're all ruining tumblr, stop."

Shut up. Everyone is tired of you hipster crybabies bitc, i mean, whining about how tumblr is being "ruined" now that more than 10 people use it. I challenge anyone who shares this viewpoint to provide me with a valid way in which tumblr is being "ruined." No one anywhere is conforming to one specific opinion on how tumblr should be used, least of all yours. You're just like music fans who decide they don't like a song once it's been played on the radio once; if you're only rationale for whether or not you like something is the number of other people who like it, please refer to the title of this post.

Did everyone see the semi colon I used in that paragraph? Ivy League here I come.

"Homework...... Don't want to talk at all so noone DARE text me"

.......I really hope someone texted her. I don't even know if this quote is completely accurate because I unfriended this person directly after seeing this status. Look, everyone knows when you post these you want someone to ask you what's wrong. If you really didn't want to talk you would simply turn your phone off or not text anyone back. I can't think of any way to put this delicately: You sound stupid when you post statuses like this.

I can't even go through any more stupid statuses, or i actually will start to get annoyed. There are definitely more though, incalculable stupid things are said every single day, so expect this to evolve into a series of posts.